A Christian’s Diary—An Unforgettable Escape

By Beibei, China

Editor’s Note: Christian Beibei’s journey of faith in God has been a rough one. She has been arrested twice by the CCP police, and has had to leave home several times. Her diary records her terrible experiences, and shows us her admirable efforts to defend her religious freedom. As the CCP begins a new round of selecting targets for arrest, she begins an unforgettable journey of escape …

August 16, 2017—Arrested by the police, and the start of another escape

After about 2 this afternoon, I was taking down my laundry outside when I looked up to see a police car parked right next to my house. I immediately became alarmed: Were they here to arrest me again? I quietly snuck into the small kitchen attached to the exterior of the house and watched them through the crack in the door. I saw three people, one wearing a police uniform, one in plain clothes, and a woman who was the local police department’s security director, get out of the car and head straight for my house.

“Are they really here to arrest me again?” My mind stopped for an instant as my heart raced in my chest. Before they discovered me, I quickly ran down the path behind the house, and as I ran, I constantly prayed to God. Luckily, a relative’s door was open, so I rushed into her yard and gave her a simple greeting. She stuck her head out the window, glanced outside, then frantically closed the door.

About an hour later, my relative went to my house and saw that the police had gone. So, I rushed home, but just when I arrived at the door, my neighbor grabbed me, looked to the left and right to make sure no one was watching, and then whispered into my ear, “Three police just came to your house looking for you. They were shouting your name as they knocked on your door. When they saw you weren’t home, they came to my house to ask. I didn’t tell them you were at home. You should be careful.” The news made me both anxious and angry, as I recalled how I was arrested twice for my belief in God, and also had to leave home several times. Now, they’re still constantly paying me “visits.” They really never stop! I thanked my neighbor, then went inside my house and hurriedly shut the door.

Around 4 in the afternoon, I heard the slam of a car door closing outside, so I cautiously opened the door a crack and looked outside. I saw the same man in the police uniform this morning getting out of the car. “The police are here again!” I quickly shut the door, huddled in the corner, and listened carefully to what was happening outside. I thought the police wouldn’t be back today after not finding me in the morning. I didn’t expect they’d be back so fast. It looked like they weren’t going to stop until they arrested me! I was trapped inside the house, and if the police kicked down the door, I would have no escape. The more I thought about it, the more afraid I felt.

In my panic, I knelt in the corner of my room and prayed to God, “God! I’m very nervous right now, and I don’t know what to do. God! Please, guide me and protect me.” After praying, I thought of God’s words, “Who survives except by the words in My mouth? Who does not lie under My watchful eye? As I carry out My new work on the whole earth, who has ever been able to escape from it? Could it be that the mountains are able to evade it by means of their height? Could it be that the waters, by their multitudinous vastness, are able to fend it off? In My plan, I have never lightly let any thing go, and so there has never been any person, or any thing, that has eluded the grasp of My hands.” God’s words gave me a flash of insight. “That’s right! Isn’t everything part of God’s orchestrations and arrangements?” The CCP police are also in God’s hands. Without God’s permission, they would never be able to arrest me, and if I was arrested, I absolutely could not betray God. I had to stand firm and testify for God! When I remembered these things, I felt much calmer.

The police knocked urgently outside, but I didn’t make a sound. After a while, I heard the sound of footsteps headed toward my neighbor’s house, and after about another 10 minutes, I heard the sound of an engine. They were leaving. It seemed like they weren’t able to get any information, and I couldn’t help but thank God in my heart.

I knew I couldn’t stay at home, so I grabbed several clothes from my wardrobe and jammed them in a bag. Just then, my husband arrived at home. When I told him about the visit from the police, his face fell as he said, “The police also just went to my older brother’s house (another Christian). It looks like this is a coordinated action.” When I heard that, I only became more nervous. They hadn’t managed to arrest me, so they would very likely be back. I knew I had to escape.

I reluctantly left home around 5. I did all the housework, so that after my husband got home from work, he could eat a hot meal. But now with me gone, I couldn’t take care of the house or the farm chores, and I didn’t know when I would be able to return. A perfectly good life was ruined by the CCP. They say we have freedom of religion, but when have we ever had that? For believing in God and preaching the gospel, I was a heinous criminal in their eyes. The last time I was arrested, I was questioned and tortured to within an inch of my life. After I was released, the police often came to check up on me. I’ve already been forced to leave home several times, and I don’t know how long I’ll have to stay in hiding this time …

All I could do was pray to God to ask for faith and strength. I thought of God’s words, “The great red dragon persecutes God and is the enemy of God, so in this land, those who believe in God are subjected to humiliation and persecution. That is why these words will become reality in you group of people. As the work is carried out in a land that opposes God, all of His work is met with inordinate hindrance, and many of His words cannot be accomplished in good time; hence, people are refined because of the words of God. This too is an element of suffering. It is greatly arduous for God to carry out His work in the land of the great red dragon, but it is through such difficulty that God does a stage of His work to make manifest His wisdom and wondrous deeds. God takes this opportunity to make this group of people complete.” God’s words made me understand that the CCP is the embodiment of the great red dragon. It is an enemy of God, and despises the truth and God more than anyone, which is why it also despises those who believe in God, and never allows us to follow God, worship God, or walk the correct path in life. Externally it upholds the banner of freedom of religious belief, but in truth it viciously attacks believers in God, and even monitors them, puts them under house arrest, or outright arrests and persecutes them. Its purpose is to prevent us from believing in God, make us obey it alone, and to enslave and destroy us. It gives only death for those who refuse to bow before it. But God’s wisdom is higher than the heavens, so amidst the CCP’s arrest and persecution, I was able to clearly see the true, God-hating face of the CCP government, and therefore could loathe it and betray it from the bottom of my heart. At the same time, through my experience, I saw the authority of God’s words and God’s miraculous works, which increased my faith in God. That I was able to escape arrest by the CCP today is God’s hidden protection of me. I see that no matter how wild the CCP may become, it is still in God’s hands. God is by my side, and I can rely on Him. Understanding these things comforted me, and I no longer felt so weak. As I continue on my way, I will rely on God.

September 12, 2017—A police ambush, an endless wait to return home

I ran into my husband on the road today. He told me, “You can’t come out of hiding right now, and you can’t come home.” Anxiously, I asked, “Why? Did the police come again?”

My husband said furiously, “It’s much worse than that! They can’t find you, so they’re waiting just outside our house to catch you. That’s what the neighbor told me. She said one night, she passed our house, when suddenly a man jumped out, shone a flashlight in her face, and asked her name. He only let her go once she told him she was coming back from the doctor’s. Another neighbor came home from a poker game at midnight and saw a police car parked next to our house on the road. After I heard all that, I started watching for the police. Just after midnight, I felt my way to the window and looked out a crack in the curtains, and I clearly saw a man standing on the road under the streetlight staring straight at the house! They come at 8 at night and stay until 4 in the morning. They’ve been watching our house for more than 20 days!”

I was furious after I heard what my husband said. The police couldn’t find me, so now they were waiting in ambush for me. This is usually treatment reserved for the most serious criminals! Christians believe in God and never break the law or commit crimes, but the CCP arrests and persecutes them, brutally extorts confessions, and cruelly tortures them. That’s worse than they treat murderers, arsonists, and serial criminals who commit unspeakable offenses! To make us give up our faith, they expend endless manpower and material resources, and even threaten to arrest all believers in God and banish the faith! This CCP is truly evil!

God says, “All this time Satan has been working on man, in the vain hope of swallowing up humanity and thereby causing God to destroy the world and lose His witness.” “Throughout the universe and the limitless expanses of the firmament, among all things in heaven and earth, the myriad things on earth, and the myriad things in heaven are each and every one consecrating their whole strength for the sake of My last stage of work. Surely you do not wish to remain spectators on the sidelines, driven hither and yon by Satan’s forces?

God’s words eloquently and precisely reveal the evil essence of the CCP and the conspiracy behind it. It persecutes and attacks religious faith and tries to break both our body and spirit in a vain attempt to make us submit to its tyrannical abuse, betray God, and lose our testimony. It knows its sins are grievous, and that one day it will be met with God’s righteous punishment and destroyed by God, but it is not content to stand by while God saves and gains people, so it wants to drag us down to hell with it and make us completely lose our chance at salvation. With the heart of a devil, it is evil to the utmost! The CCP’s confrontation with God is a spiritual battle, a contest between good and evil. As a Christian, I cannot allow myself to be crushed by the evil forces of Satan. I swear to keep the name of God, testify God, and use my real actions to humiliate Satan and glorify God!

Since I left, it has been a long time since I’ve returned home. Although it might only take 5-6 minutes by bicycle from the house I rent to get home, the CCP police are trying to arrest me, and I can’t show my face. So close, yet so distant as to be unreachable. I passed the road before my house several times, and could even see my house, but I could only look on from a distance, and then silently wipe the tears from my face and ride away.

My husband is more than 60 years old. His health isn’t what it used to be. Every day when he comes home after work, he is exhausted. But now, he can’t even eat a hot meal, and there isn’t even anyone at home to talk to him. He is completely alone at home. That thought makes me especially worried about my husband. The only thing I can do is to cook some food and sneak it to his workplace. Sometimes I watch my husband walk home, I stand behind him numbly, watching him disappear into the distance. I really wanted to go home …

I always feel jealous when I see other families together, young and old, all happily eating and talking together. I sometimes think, “I’m old, the torture I’ve experienced from the CCP has ruined my body, I don’t know how much longer I’ll live, and I just want to have a quiet place to believe in God. How much longer will I have to wait for that wish to become reality? Will my days of wandering ever end?” I know I am weak at such moments like these, so I went before God and prayed, “God! I feel very weak, and I’m homesick, but the police will arrest me, so I dare not go back. God! Only You can lead me and help me. I ask You to give me confidence and strength.”

I read God’s words, “The time has come for us to repay God’s love. Although we are subject to no small amount of ridicule, slander, and persecution because we follow the path of belief in God, I believe this is a meaningful thing. It is a thing of glory, not shame, and no matter what, the blessings we enjoy are not paltry at all.” “The present suffering signifies how great your future blessings shall be; it is indescribable. You know not how great blessings you shall have, you couldn’t even dream of it. Today they become real, so very real! This is not so far away, can you see it? Every last bit of this is within Me and how bright it is ahead! Wipe away your tears, feel no pain or sorrow, all is held within My hands and My goal is to make you the overcomers soon and to bring you into glory with Me. You shall be grateful and praise for all that befalls you, and that shall satisfy My heart.

God’s words once again soothed the sorrow in my heart and made me understand God’s will. My suffering now is valuable and meaningful. I am being persecuted for righteousness, the most honorable thing possible, the thing most blessed by God, and something honorable for me. But, because I had a home I couldn’t return to because of the CCP, I felt negative and weak. The suffering felt unbearable. I recalled that in the beginning, the Lord Jesus was crucified to save us. God’s holy, innocent flesh suffered immense torment, but the Lord Jesus never complained, and He did it all to ultimately take mankind back from Satan. Today, Christ of the last days works in atheist China, experiencing all kinds of persecution and suffering, so that ultimately He can gain a group of overcomers. When I thought about God’s love for us, I looked again at my behavior and felt incredibly ashamed. Without experiencing this environment, I wouldn’t be able to see clearly the essence of the CCP’s evil reaction, my faith in God wouldn’t increase, and I wouldn’t realize that God is kind and loveable. This kind of environment is very beneficial to my growth in life! I was no longer sad because I couldn’t reunite with my family. I only want to experience this environment arranged by God on this path, and no matter how difficult, to follow God to the end.

August 26, 2018—Police search my home, the frightful nightmare continues

I saw my husband a few days ago and I learned some ominous news!

On August 20, the CCP police couldn’t stand to wait any longer. Dressed in plain clothes and without showing any documents, they forcibly entered and searched my home. They searched all the rooms and cabinets, uprooting everything like a bull in a china shop! I thought of how this year, to catch me, the police had gone to my door to check, waited in ambush, and even forcibly searched my home. They were really racking their brains! Not only that, but because of my belief in God, my husband had been fired from his job several years ago. Believing in God under the power of the CCP is very difficult!

The last few days, I’ve been afraid since hearing the news of that incident. When I hear a squeaking sound outside at night, I quickly sit up, and at times I haven’t dared go back to sleep for fear of again being captured by the CCP and being ruinously tortured. I often wake up in terror in the middle of the night as I vividly recall the terrible scenes from my past arrests: the gloomy interrogation room, the sinister smiles, the bloody torture tools…. I couldn’t walk, so I crawled along the ground on my knees as the devilish laughter sounded behind me; I was dragged down the stairs, my head smashing against every one, spittle bubbling from my mouth; round after round of interrogations, forced confessions, more than a week without water or food, brushing shoulders with death…. Without God’s protection and the faith and strength I gained from God’s words, I would never have emerged from that hell alive. Thinking of this, I couldn’t help but feel my mind shrouded in fear. In torment, I could only pray to God again to ask that I be able to overcome the weakness of my flesh and not lose faith!

I then read these words of God: “Regardless of how malicious its nature, and how evil its substance, the only thing it can do is to dutifully abide by its function: being of service to God, and providing a counterpoint to God. Such is the essence and position of Satan. Its substance is unconnected to life, unconnected to power, unconnected to authority; it is merely a plaything in God’s hands, just a machine in service to God!” “Only the Creator can establish heavenly laws and edicts, only the Creator has the power to put them into effect, and only the power of the Creator cannot be transgressed by any person or thing. This is the unique authority of the Creator, this authority is supreme among all things, and so, it is impossible to say that ‘God is the greatest and Satan is number two.’ Except for the Creator who is possessed of the unique authority, there is no other God!” God’s words gave me confidence. No matter how fierce Satan’s appearance, it can never surpass God’s authority, because only God controls the fate of all things and creatures. Whether I would be arrested again by the CCP, whether I would live or die if I was arrested, was all in God’s hands. Without God’s approval, no matter how ferocious the CCP might be, it wouldn’t dare do anything to hurt me. I remember that after I was arrested, I didn’t drink or eat for more than a week, and the CCP police also brutally tortured me. Without God’s protection, I would have died long ago. It was God’s words that gave me confidence and strength, guided me toward breaking through the constraints of death, and allowed me to survive my treatment at the hands of the CCP devils and follow God to the present day. I had personally experienced God’s authority and power. What did I have to fear? If I fear physical torture and death, I will live in negativity and weakness. Isn’t this just Satan’s trick? I wish to give everything to God, never submit to Satan’s despotic power, and will never betray God! After I recognized this, I was confident that I could continue.


From the experience of the Christian Beibei being persecuted and driven from her home, we can see that her current situation is still very dangerous. The CCP government repeats the slogans “freedom of religious belief” and “the legal rights and interests of citizens are protected by law,” but these are the lies of swindlers, merely the tricks it uses to deceive people! It wildly persecutes and harms Christians in its vain ambition to destroy God’s work of salvation in the last days. Yet even in such a harsh environment, we have seen that with the guidance of God’s word, Beibei understood God’s eager sincerity to save mankind, which strengthened her faith and resolve to follow God. Just as the Lord Jesus said, “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:10). The encouragement in God’s words will allow more Christians like Beibei to bear persecution and bravely continue to spread the kingdom gospel.

Dear brothers and sisters, if you have any knowledge or inspiration of God, or confusion or difficulties in belief, you’re welcome to share with us via one of the methods below:
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