Xinnuo is a co-worker of . Despite her young age, she is an old believer, who attended meetings with her mother at an early age. Because of her enthusiasm and active pursuit, she was chosen as a deacon before graduation and began to work in the church.
She has been in the church for nine years, and busy with church’s work every day, not only preaching the , doing the church work, but supporting weak brothers and sisters. As to the trends that nowadays young man revere and follow, Xinnuo knows nothing. However, she doesn’t feel any regrets about that. After all, these trends are filled with too many tricks of Satan. Because of believing in God, she has been away from those trends and protected by God. She feels very grateful.
But in the recent six months, she often needs to search some information online to do her work, which is difficult for her, because she doesn’t know how to use the computer. Whenever she saw other young brothers and sisters operating the computer skillfully, she felt envious and often sighed: If only I were skilled at computer technology. Particularly when she saw her co-worker, Xiaoyu, found lots of useful information on the Internet in an instant while she found nothing even in several hours, she felt frustrated.
In the past, when it came to cooperating with all aspects of work, Xinnuo was outstanding all the time. But now whatever she does, she has to ask Xiaoyu for help. Sometimes when she finishes something with great difficulty, Xiaoyu will revise a lot after reading. Xinnuo feels bad but becomes more dependent on Xiaoyu.
This day, Xinnuo was attentively searching for the information on the Internet for a long time but in vain. She almost wanted to give up, thinking: This task is too difficult for me. I’ve never learned these and know nothing about it. Usually Xiaoyu will teach me patiently as she is doing the task. But today she goes to the church and has not come back yet. I really cannot do this alone. She could not help but hope Xiaoyu could come back early, so her problems could be solved.
At this moment, a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she was so glad that Xiaoyu was back. Xinnuo rushed out of the house and asked happily on seeing Xiaoyu, “Hi, Xiaoyu, how’s everything going today?” Xiaoyu paused and then replied, “I’m gonna leave, the church arranges for me to another church.” On hearing this, Xinnuo was shocked and watched Xiaoyu, speechless. After a moment, Xinnuo recovered from the daze and asked, “When will you leave?” Xiaoyu replied, “In two days. I never thought the church will arrange for me to go to that church. However, no matter where we work, this is God’s great exaltation and we should obey…”
Xiaoyu still said something, but Xinnuo didn’t hear a word. All in her mind was: Xiaoyu is to leave. How can I undertake this work by myself? Finally, she couldn’t help crying. Xiaoyu patted Xinnuo on the shoulder and didn’t know how should she put this. After a while, Xinnuo embarrassedly wiped up her tears and said, “Thank God, His arrangement can’t be wrong. There must be God’s intentions in it. Let’s depend on God and experience it.”
It’s late at night, but Xinnuo is lying on the bed sleepless. Thinking that Xiaoyu is leaving, she feels sad again. She thinks: In the past few months, I have been relying on Xiaoyu to do everything and needn’t worry about anything. What should I do in the future?
Xinnuo prays to God silently, “God! You know my stature and my inability. I’m afraid I can’t take on the responsibility. I’m incapable of doing this work. God! What should I do? God! May You guide me and let me know your intentions…” Xinnuo prays to God again and again.
Xinnuo thinks of her s. She prayed to God every day, with the hope to grow up soon and bear the burden entrusted by God. However, because she lacks so much and has no initiative to learn, she still can’t do the work alone after months. Now Xiaoyu is to leave, isn’t God asking me to learn to be independent through this environment? Thinking of this, Xinnuo calms down. On second thought: I know nothing about computer skills. What should I do? Then hits her, “You have to always implore God for this goal and for what you long and wish to obtain in your heart, you have to implore and pray for it, and when God sees your true heart He will then do it….You must keep imploring for it, keep praying, make effort with it and contemplate it, then taste the environments God arranges for you—they will come to you little by little, and God will begin to act. Without a true heart, it is futile” (“Those Who Cannot Live Always Before God Are Unbelievers”).
God’s Word timely enlightens Xinnuo. She feels her heart brighten and comes to understand that God is leading her to grow up by setting up this environment, so that she can fulfill the goal of spending for God. She also realized that God sets up the environment according to her stature. When she came here at first and had no idea about the work, God arranged Xiaoyu to help her. However, during this period, she did not rely on God or look to God, nor did she understand God. Whenever she encountered difficulties, she would rely on Xiaoyu instead of God to overcome them. This time, God wonderfully separates her and Xiaoyu so that she can learn to be independent, rely on God and grow up soon to bear the burden. Now God is testing her to see whether she has and have the willpower to endure hardships and pay the price while in difficulty. God is guiding her to grow up step by step. At this moment, Xinnuo feels God is by her side guiding her all the time. Therefore, she makes up her mind: No matter what difficulties I encounter, I will not back off. I will pray to God and rely on God to move forward. No matter how the environment around me changes, the goal I spend for God will never be changed.
Xinnuo thinks of Noah, who never saw an ark and did not know how to make one. But Noah had true faith in God, so God enlightened Noah through his prayer and contemplation, letting him know how to make an ark bit by bit. Today God places me here and gives me the best opportunity to grow up. So He must guide me to do the work well gradually. I can’t live in difficulties. Instead, I should seize the chance to carry the burden entrusted by God, diligently cooperate with God, and work hard to satisfy Him. I should not behave like a kid. In thinking of these, Xinnuo no longer feels down but offers thanks and praise to God.
Xinnuo thinks of God’s words, “If you do have God in your heart, then you can say to God the things you can say to your intimates—God is your closest confidant. When you allow God to become your closest confidant, your closest friend, the family who you can most depend on, most lean on, and who is most trustworthy, most intimate and close, then it will be impossible not to have things to say to Him. When you always have things to say to God, aren’t you then able to always live before God? When you are able to always live before God, then at all times you will be able to perceive how God is guiding you, how God is protecting you, how He looks after you, how He becomes your peace and joy, gives you blessings and enlightens you, how God reproaches you, disciplines you, punishes you, judges and chastises you. When you are always living before God, your heart will very clearly and distinctly know what God is doing in you. You won’t have a day where you are all muddle-headed and don’t know anything, just saying the words “I , I do my duty, I attend meetings, I read every day and pray every day.” You won’t merely go through all these processes or merely have this kind of external behavior” (“Those Who Cannot Live Always Before God Are Unbelievers”).
Yes indeed! God is my closest confidant. He accompanies me at all times and gives me chances to practice according to my needs and lack. God truly loves me greatly! At this moment, Xinnuo is deeply moved by . She knows she will face lots of difficulties in the following work, but it does not matter, because God is by her side and will help her at any time. No matter what difficulties she encounters, she can rely on God to help her out.
In thinking of this, Xinnuo smiles happily. Outside the window, the bright moonlight brightens the whole courtyard, but also illuminates Xinnuo’s heart, so beautiful and so bright.
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